I sank into her eyes. Her lifeless, empty eyes.
Her body began to sink deeper into the depths of loneliness and isolation.
It was set in stone. It was meant to be.
Because I, and LuLu, exist here. It was inevitable.
That is what Nikoli told me.
I have seen it all. I know everything.
I know how much she wanted to be seen.
How little she felt understood by those around her.
Except for Mona. Mona always saw her.
The true Lucelia. And she accepted her as she was.
I feel that LuLu and I, being apart of her, are the only other ones that truly saw her beyond that.
But sadly, we could do nothing.
Sinking into the water...it was devastating to not only watch it but to feel it in real time.
It was painful. Not only physically, but emotionally.
But...it is such a fitting allegory, isn't it?
One of the last things I remember seeing through her eyes as her vision
became blurry and she fell into the depths was what
floated atop the water that surrounded her boat.
The last thing I caught in her eyes before she fell overboard was dust, dirt, and scattered debris.
One one thing in particular stood out to me more than anything else.
A moth.
A little pink and yellow moth, void of life, as it had also met its fate in the same way as her.
Dying in the water. Nothing, and no one around to know it.
Something small and insignificant to the universe,
but still full of so much pain that was endured alone.
I am waiting patiently for her.
I’d say I’m counting the days but how can you really count them when you’re
waiting in a place like this? The sky is always dark with hardly any
flickers of light. I think those flickers might be stars.
I don’t know if those stars are too far away or
just…dying.
This place is miserable. It’s agonizing.
Though I can say there is some sort of silver lining, as we wait for her
arrival. I still get to see the world of the living through
her eyes from time to time.
When she sees the moon, I see it too.
It is the same when she glances towards the sun.
And when she walks outside in the rain? I am sometimes watching from
her gaze. I love those moments that I get to share with her.
LuLu, however, becomes angry.
She, unlike myself, is quite impatient.
And it’s nice to know that she still has time to live,
even if she doesn’t enjoy it anymore.
It also pains me knowing that any day could be her last.
I know she’s getting closer to “the day”.
I can feel it deep in the back of my mind.
I know what you’re thinking, Lucelia.
I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.